Yippee! I’m healthy!

Exhale. I just got back from my yearly oncologist appointment. Nothing like a yearly cancer check-up to remind you how fragile and whacked out life is. It’s been 12 years since I’ve been doing this yearly ritual. Seventeen and a half since I’ve had my own cancer doctor.

The first five years after your cancer treatments, you go every six months because you’ve only earned a “remission” label. It takes five years to graduate to yearly appointments and the coveted “cured”. And even then, the healing has just begun.

Some think the first five years are the most nerve-wracking. You still think every ache, pain and/or lump means you have one foot in the grave. You sit in the doctor’s office, with the smells of chemo and plastic needles still enough to make you nauseous. You look at the other patients in the waiting room and you have to fight back tears because you still feel raw from the whole experience.

The emotional fragility of this point in time is unparallel. You are scared shitless and put your faith into everything the doctor says. She/he has become God to you because the other God you somewhat believed in, has a funny way of showing he cares.

But then, if you eat well, exercise, keep your environment as non-toxic as possible, find a sense of spirituality that helps you navigate life and no doubt, have a lot of luck, the years accumulate. You no longer wake up every morning fishing for lumps and the joint pains you chock up to working out too much. Cancer no longer runs your thoughts.

I can’t speak for every person who has experienced cancer, but for me, to truly move on with my life, I had to figure out why this happened and then if I couldn’t find answers, make a reason. I know conventional medical information, outside of lung cancer, can’t tell you why cancer happens. But being a big picture thinker and in the wellness field, I know a lot of medical information is funded by profit-motivated groups and the nature of research itself doesn’t look at system synergies but more isolated pieces of the puzzle. Yet, the human body is the most complex system in the world.

The more I research, the more I feel these years after being cured are more perplexing. I have to be vigilant about breast and thyroid cancers from the radiation I received. These are serious risks that I don’t take lightly. As my Dad says, “There’s always a trap door that can open on your ass.”

So why does my insanely intelligent oncologist, who I really admire and like, still tell me that eating well, working out and doing yoga “doesn’t hurt” my chances of reoccurrence or secondary cancers from my chemo and radiation treatments (especially as the waiting room is overflowing with patients)? Is it really smart to get yearly CT, Mammogram and/or MRI tests when we are now finding out these can be contributing to cancer? Why are known carcinogens like BPA and DDT still in our environment when we’ve known for decades they contribute to cancer? And how do I trust the American Medical Association (AMA) when back in the day, they were in cahoots with the tobacco industry to delay the obvious conclusion that cigarettes cause cancer?

I’m not paranoid. I’m smart, have common sense and am insanely well-read. And I can no longer go on blind faith. I’ve been through too much. I brought “The Secret History of the War on Cancer” to my oncologist this morning to suggest he read it. It’s where I found some of my answers to how I want to work with him to manage my health. Yes, they are MY answers, not the answers. But it’s also MY health and my responsibility to do everything I can, including asking the hard questions, so I can continue to only come back once a year.

While sometimes I long for the days when I believed the doctor knew best, I also know from my yoga practice, life has no absolutes (it’s probably why I fundamentally believe in yoga as its truths pop up everywhere – no faith required). On the flip side, I’m thrilled to no longer be so close to my initial diagnosis that I fear the delay in the doctor coming to my exam room means something was found in my blood work.

In these 17 years being cancer free, I’ve been able to figure out why this happened physically and emotionally. As a result, I’ve put more faith in the Universe and myself, especially as my common sense, knowledge and hunches seem to years later, be confirmed by scientific research. However, the more you learn, the more you realize you don’t know. So I’ll continue co-pilot my health with my doctor, finding some sort of balance that I hope, continues to tip in my favor.

Giving Meat a Better “Wrap” at your summer BBQ

More times than not, when I tell people I do nutritional counseling, the ask if I’m a vegetarian, assuming vegetarians are healthier. Nope! I would prefer to be but my body needs meat…quality meat. Not a lot, but some.

Meat tends to get a bad wrap because the majority of studies done on it are done on conventionally raised animals, who, because of what they are fed and the conditions they are raised in, are much fattier than their free-ranging counterparts. Grass-fed, organic animals have Omega 3s and can help balance blood sugar for those who eat an over abundance of refined carbs and sugar. Also, when meat is grilled, it does contain carcinogens which are known to cause cancer.

I water boil my meat because I hate doing dishes and it makes it easier to clean the pan when there is no crusty residue. But it’s also a lot healthier.

However, it’s grilling season and no one wants to be “that girl” at the BBQ asking for their meat to be baked not grilled – and who doesn’t love to relax and eat BBQ food (I know, vegans hate me right now).

But new research shows that by adding rosemary or Thai spices (curry, cumin, chili peppers), which contain high anti-oxidant levels, you can inhibit some of the carcinogens effects (about 61-79% for rosemary and 40-43% for Thai spices). So wrap your meat in some tasty spices for an extra kick.

Certain meats produce less carcinogens and even spices like cinnamon and cocoa help but rosemary and Thai seem to be more popular for grilling season. But for those more adventurous, remember to try these spices at home too.

Check out this article to give you are more in-depth analysis.  And now when you fire up the grill, you can fuel your body in a healthier way. Now how to light that grill safely is up to you!

After The Cure: A personal essay on a personal journey

Here’s an article I wrote for the Philadelphia Women’s Journal on my healing from cancer. It was the first time I wrote about my experience in its entirety. Writing it was emotional but therapeutic.

I hope anyone who reads it walks away understanding there is a big difference between curing and healing. Curing a disease is stopping the physical deterioration. Healing is finding the meaning and the strength to use trauma constructively…without losing your sense of humor about the whimsical nature of life.

After the Cure